Tuesday, August 10, 2010

For the Benefit of Bobby Coyne

There have been 4 people in about as many weeks that have asked me why I don't write a blog.

The short answer is this: it's a lot of work, especially when you feel the need to come up with shit that entertains people. But, I was sitting there at the blood gas lab today, and got really tired of talking to myself. Because, let's face it, and I'm being completely arrogant here, with the exception of about MAYBE 6 people, no one can entertain me as well as I can entertain myself. Not only that, I legitimately think I make peoples pages better by intentionally derailing them. Seriously, these words have come out of my mouth. In addition, I've contemplated going that douchebag extra mile of "liking" my own updates, just to maximize my obnoxiousness, and cause a stir.

In that instant, I realized I was becoming one of "those guys".

Oh, you know what I'm talking about ... one of those Ian Michael Black dudes that think they're funny, but they're really not. Or, and this is really bad considering I'm a fanboy, one of those Harry Knowles type superdorks that sit on a high throne of condescension, thinking their opinion is the only one that matters. This is one of my great character flaws, that I attribute to just being candid, and outspoken ... but really, I feel, makes me obstinate and difficult to get along with.

Which brings this whole diatribe full circle ... instead of writing all this crap on Facebook, I'll just do it in a blog!


In a nutshell, that was my epiphany for the day.

What else has been going on?

Originally, I was going to start talking about how I'm going to write this anti-ER (you know the TV show that glorifies doctors) book, about what it's really like to work at the crown jewel of Chicago medicine, from a nonclinical perspective ... you know, being part of the system, but not being bogged down with making "life or death" decisions, or actually having to perform "patient" care. But then, I saw that every post leading up to this one talks about my job in some way. Which led me to nip THAT shit right in the bud. Don't want to become a one trick pony, no sir. Don't worry though, I'm writing down all those zany stories of stupidity to write about at a later date.

I've become obsessed with torrents. I didn't even know these fucking things existed (okay, I did, but considered them mythical because my computer wasn't HAL, so they were always just out of my reach), but now that I do, I feel like I can get virtually anything ... like the whole world is in my little hobbit hand.

I'm about to save a lot of money, friends.

Speaking of friends, all mine moved out of the city ... due to sperm infection, higher callings, jobs, what have you. This catalyzed me making new ones and creating new activities for myself to do. Within the past week, I've really upped the ante on finding nerd stuff for myself to do:
1. Started weekly roll playing. This is actually somewhat of a hoot, and as Heidi put it ... it's like your poker game, but nerdier.
2. Restarted the book club. September's book? A Confederacy of Dunces.
3. Men's Group ... that's still a work in progress though.
4. I've started bike riding more ... last night, I went on a ride with Patty, and was attacked by a giant cicada. The best is going to the southshore, because you have these high school/college kids getting baked, and just waiting for the sun to set to finger bang their girlfriends. It's pretty hilarious. Yesterday, we started singing the Southpark fingerbang song.
Anywho, more later ... I'm sure you'll be on the lookout.


  1. I'm not sure I can handle my Matt in such large doses. FB doles it out a bit at a time. It's a completely different world inside your head.

  2. Sharon, I feel I look at FB ... a lot. I'm just kinda tired of it, because I feel like I post shit all the time, which makes it look like I have no life, when really I'm just using it as a diversion from work.